Timothy Leary

You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
- Timothy Leary

Carl Schurz

Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny.
- Carl Schurz

Albert Pike

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation. A war for commercial supremacy, upon some shallow pretext, is despicable.
- Albert Pike

George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
- George Burns

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Oscar Levant

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
- Oscar Levant

Will Rogers

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
- Will Rogers

François de La Rochefoucauld

"If we had no faults, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing them in others."
- François de La Rochefoucauld

Jack Nicholson

I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.
- Jack Nicholson

H L Mencken

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H L Mencken

Homer J. Simpson

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.'"
- Homer J. Simpson

Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
- Andy Rooney

Ayn Rand

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.
- Ayn Rand

Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Ambrose Bierce

Leo Tolstoy

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.
- Leo Tolstoy

Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck

Abraham Lincoln

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.
- Abraham Lincoln

John F. Kennedy

The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'
- John F. Kennedy

James M. Barrie

I am not young enough to know everything.
- James M. Barrie

Douglas MacArthur

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.
- Douglas MacArthur

Dorothy Parker

I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.
- Dorothy Parker

J. K. Rowling

If you're holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time.
- J. K. Rowling

Mahatma Gandhi

When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Oscar Wilde

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
- Oscar Wilde

Sir Winston Churchill

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Lao-tzu

To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
- Lao-tzu

Socrates

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.
- Socrates

Mark Twain

It liberates the vandal to travel--you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.
- Mark Twain