Erma Bombeck

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
- Erma Bombeck

Marlon Brando

Never confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent.
- Marlon Brando

Bobcat Goldthwaite

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- Bobcat Goldthwaite

Chinese Proverb

He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb

Giuseppe Mazzini

Love your country. Your country is the land where your parents sleep, where is spoken that language in which the chosen of your heart, blushing, whispered the first word of love; it is the home that God has given you that by striving to perfect yourselves therein you may prepare to ascend to him.
- Giuseppe Mazzini

Yoko Ono

Life with another person is always difficult.
- Yoko Ono

P. J. O'Rourke

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Marilyn vos Savant

What is the essence of America? Finding and maintaining that perfect, delicate balance between freedom "to" and freedom "from."
- Marilyn vos Savant, in Parade

D Waitley

"Everything that is past is either a learning experience to grow on, a beautiful memory to reflect on, or a motivating factor to act upon."
- D Waitley

Albert Schweitzer

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer

Albert Einstein

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
- Albert Einstein

Gore Vidal

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.
- Gore Vidal

Robert Frost

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
- Robert Frost

Mother Teresa

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.
- Mother Teresa

Eleanor Roosevelt

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Seneca

All art is an imitation of nature.
- Seneca

Errol Flynn

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
- Errol Flynn

Nick Faldo

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
- Nick Faldo

Samuel Johnson

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
- Samuel Johnson

Ovid

Let others praise the ancient times; I was glad I was born in these.
- Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)

Ayn Rand

"The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity."
- Ayn Rand

Steven Wright

I'm living on a one-way, dead-end street. I don't know how I got here.
- Steven Wright

Willem De Kooning

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
- Willem De Kooning

Arthur Goldberg

If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.
- Arthur Goldberg

Emo Phillips

I'm walking home from school and I'm watching some men build a new house. All of a sudden the guy hammering on the roof calls me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code.
- Emo Phillips

Richard Armour

Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
- Richard Armour

C. S. Lewis

It is hard to have patience with people who say "There is no death" or "Death doesn't matter." There is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible. You might as well say that birth doesn't matter.
- C. S. Lewis

George Bernard Shaw

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw

Pablo Picasso

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.
- Pablo Picasso

Woody Allen

I was the best I ever had.
- Woody Allen

Mark Twain

Do not undervalue the headache. While it is as its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth four dollars a minute.
- Mark Twain