Ingrid Bergman

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
- Ingrid Bergman

Ann Landers

Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.
- Ann Landers

Ellen Parr

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
- Ellen Parr

Thomas Paine

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
- Thomas Paine

Victor Mature

"I'm no actor, and I've got 64 pictures to prove it."
- Victor Mature

Jack Handey

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.
- Jack Handey

Norman Vincent Peale

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

F.E. Willard

Success doesn't "happen." It is organized, preempted, captured, by consecrated common sense.
- F.E. Willard

Mae West

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
- Mae West

Tommy Smothers

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!
- Tommy Smothers

Douglas Adams

...Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons.
- Douglas Adams

Blaise Pascal

Most of the evils of life arise from man's being unable to sit still in a room.
- Blaise Pascal

Joseph Heller

"Let someone else get killed!" "Suppose everyone on our side felt that way?" "Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?" "Englishmen are dying for England, American's are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can all be worth dying for?" "Anything worth living for," said Nately, "is worth dying for." "And anything worth dying for," "answered the old man, "is certainly worth living for."
- Joseph Heller

Washington Irving

"An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather."
- Washington Irving

Yogi Berra

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
- Yogi Berra

John Steinbeck

This I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.
- John Steinbeck

Frederic Bastiat

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat

Jonathan Swift

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
- Jonathan Swift

John Lennon

When I was 12, I used to think I was a genius and nobody had noticed. If there such a thing as a genius, I am one, and if there isn't, then I don't care.
- John Lennon

Marcel Proust

Let us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination.
- Marcel Proust

Boris Pasternak

The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune.
- Boris Pasternak

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Life, if well lived, is long enough.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

George Bernard Shaw

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own.
- George Bernard Shaw

William F. Scolavino

The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.
- William F. Scolavino

James Bovard

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard

P. J. O'Rourke

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
- P. J. O'Rourke

C. S. Lewis

With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.
- C. S. Lewis

Woody Allen

I don't think anyone conceives of sex the way I do: surrealistic and rich with humor.
- Woody Allen

George Bernard Shaw

If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
- George Bernard Shaw

Ayn Rand

"The only purpose of education is to teach a student how to live his life-by developing his mind and equipping him to deal with reality. The training he needs is theoretical, i.e., conceptual. He has to be taught to think, to understand, to integrate, to prove. He has to be taught the essentials of the knowledge discovered in the past - and he has to be equipped to acquire further knowledge by his own effort."
- Ayn Rand

Mark Twain

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
- Mark Twain