Anton Chekhov

Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given.
- Anton Chekhov

Jack London

The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
- Jack London

Heinrich Heine

Experience is a good school. But the fees are high.
- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) German poet

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

Peter De Vries

The things my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque.
- Peter De Vries

Jack Handey

"When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me."
- Jack Handey

A. R. Adams

Don't stay away from church because there are so many hypocrites. There's always room for one more.
- A. R. Adams

Frank Sinatra

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

- Frank Sinatra

Samuel Johnson

Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson

Lao-tzu

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
- Lao-tzu

Jonathan Winters

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
- Jonathan Winters

Walt Whitman

I may be as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best.
- Walt Whitman

Woody Allen

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of woman.
- Woody Allen

Harrison Ford

My older kids are fantastic people. It can't be the result of my influence on them.
- Harrison Ford

Marcel Proust

In a way, the greatest praise of God is his denial by the atheist who thinks creation is so perfect it does not need a creator.
- Marcel Proust

Robert Frost

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
- Robert Frost

Victor Hugo

I met in the street a very poor man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat threadbare, the water passed through his shoes, and the stars through his soul.
- Victor Hugo

Thomas Fuller

Great hopes make great men.
- Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English Historian

Pat Conroy

I've always found paranoia a perfectly defensible position.
- Pat Conroy

Alexander Hamilton

Man is a reasoning rather than a reasonable animal.
- Alexander Hamilton

Oscar Wilde

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Vincent Van Gogh

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
- Vincent Van Gogh

Lenny Bruce

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce

David Letterman

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
- David Letterman

Thomas Jefferson

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson

Samuel Goldwyn

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Joshua L. Liebman

Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.
- Joshua L. Liebman

George Bernard Shaw

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Cheri Jacobus

"From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days. I keep leftovers in my refrigerator longer than that."
- Cheri Jacobus - Columnist

P. J. O'Rourke

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- Mark Twain