Barbara Bush

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.
- Barbara Bush

Samuel Butler

Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself.
- Samuel Butler

Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams

Jean Harlow

I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.
- Jean Harlow

Rita Rudner

Other dogs look at French poodles and wonder if they are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

Meister Eckhart

When you are thwarted, it is your own attitude that is out of order.
- Meister Eckhart

Isaac Newton

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
- Isaac Newton

Henry David Thoreau

"My friend is one... who takes me for what I am."
- Henry David Thoreau

Katherine Hepburn

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
- Katherine Hepburn

Frank Sinatra

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.
- Frank Sinatra

Malvina Reynolds

Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more.
- Malvina Reynolds

Steven Wright

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
- Steven Wright

George Bernanos

"Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air."
- George Bernanos

William Morrow

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- William Morrow

Emo Philips

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
- Emo Philips

Logan Pearsall Smith

It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

Francois Fenelon

We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs.
- Francois Fenelon

Eugene Raudsepp

"If you want to develop your creativity, establish regular work habits. Allow time for the incubation of ideas, and adhere to your individual rhythm. Violations of this rhythm can retard your creative efficiency."
- Eugene Raudsepp

Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

- Woody Allen

Woodrow Wilson

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand."
- Woodrow Wilson

J. Andrews

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.
- J. Andrews

Henny Youngman

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 dollars I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

- Henny Youngman

Thomas Jefferson

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.

- Thomas Jefferson

Robert S. McNamara

Brains, like hearts, go where they are appreciated.
- Robert S. McNamara

Susan Laurson Willig

Limited expectations yield only limited results.
- Susan Laurson Willig

Jack Handey

The funny thing about driving your car off a cliff, I bet you're still hitting those brakes.
- Jack Handey

Stewart L. Udall

Where nature is concerned, familiarity breeds love and knowledge, not contempt. 
- Stewart L. Udall (1920- ) American Politician

Joseph Addison

"True happiness... arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self."
- Joseph Addison

Marie Corelli

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. 
- Marie Corelli

Malcolm Forbes

Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat. 
- Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990) American Publisher

Mark Twain

That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
- Mark Twain