James Joyce

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
- James Joyce

Ernest Hemingway

Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth.
- Ernest Hemingway

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hate quotes, tell me what you know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confucius

The ancient scholars studied for their own improvement. Modern scholars study to impress others.
- Confucius

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Charles Lamb

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
- Charles Lamb

Aristotle

Law is mind without reason.
- Aristotle

David Letterman

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
- David Letterman

Bob Hope

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
- Bob Hope

Ambrose Bierce

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.
- Ambrose Bierce

P. J. O'Rourke

Bureaucratic time, which is slower than geologic time but more expensive than time spent with Madame Claude's girls in Paris.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Zig Ziglar

"What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important as what you will become by reaching your destination."
- Zig Ziglar

Bagdikian's Observation

Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukulele.
- Bagdikian's Observation

Thomas A. Edison

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas A. Edison

John Millington Synge

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting.
- John Millington Synge

Alfred Lord Tennyson

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

St. Augustine

Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
- St. Augustine 354-430, Numidian-born Bishop of Hippo, Theologian

Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
- Oscar Wilde

Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Sir William Temple

The only way for a rich man to be healthy is by exercise and abstinence, to live as if he were poor.
- Sir William Temple 1628-1699, British Diplomat, Essayist

W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields 1879-1946, American Actor

Abraham Lincoln

I have stepped out upon this platform that I may see you and that you may see me, and in the arrangement I have the best of the bargain.
- Abraham Lincoln

Gabriel Espinosa

Why are we running to live, if we're just living to die?
- Gabriel Espinosa

Ralph Waldo Emerson

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Francis Bacon

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
- Francis Bacon (1561-1626) British statesman and philosopher

Voltaire

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

George Bernard Shaw

Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.
- George Bernard Shaw

Albert Einstein

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Albert Einstein

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
- Woody Allen

Mark Twain

"Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one."
- Mark Twain